A cat called Money


Hey, this is Ramesh. The good news is that I’m back. The bad news is that my Inner Voice isn’t far behind.

Dying to know what happened after she summoned me the other day? Curious cat, aren’t you? Well, it turned out to be rather silly. Let me explain.

When I heard her say, ‘I believe there’s no money-shoney in all that blog-shog of yours,’ what she had actually said was, ‘I believe there’s no Mani-shoni in all that blog-shog of yours’.

Guys, she was referring to Mani- Subramani, our cat.

Am I dumb? Or am I the dumbest?

Tell you, my wife and I have never spent so much time together in the bedroom on any issue, not even for an issue.

Take a look at this MMS of what happened behind our closed door, you’ll know what I mean. Stop drooling.


Not happening? Maybe they removed it for its unsuitable content. Never mind. Let me give you a blow-by-blow account of what happened in there. Yes, blow-by-blow.

It was like a never-ending mistaken-identity climax of the Priyadarshan kind.

It all went wrong, the moment I stepped in and started off on the front foot. I shamelessly stole from years of my Inner Voice’s arguments with me, and said, ‘Don’t keep looking for money in everything, honey. This is one search that never ends. You know why? If you tell a kid there are three lollipops in that room, he’ll go in, look for them, and stop when he finds them. But if you send him there to look for lollipops without specifying a number, he’ll find one on the shelf, two under the carpet, one behind the mirror, and still go on, because there’ll always be another lollipop somewhere. Greed will take over and his search will never end. The search will become more exciting than the find. Even with 100 lollipops in hand, all melting away, he would still be searching for that elusive last one. So honey, my advice is let’s stop chasing money.’

‘How can we? And why should we? It’s our Mani!’ she protested. ‘Yeh humare pet ka sawal hai!’

That angered me. Why bring my pet and paunch into this, I wondered.

‘Don’t be foolish. It’s not just a pet. It’s a paapi pet. It’s a monstrous pet. It’s forever hungry and can’t be satiated with just roti-chawal. It can gobble up brands, labels, luxuries, accessories, gizmos, and still demand more. It traps us into a never-ending game of one-upmanship. Do you understand?’

‘Oh come on, Rum! Mani is just a harmless cat!’ she tried to reason.

‘Well put! Money is indeed a cat. We run behind it, struggle to bring it home, nurture it…but does it care? Do you think it is loyal to us? Na! Not one bit. Any stranger can walk away with it, just like that. It would willingly go, too. What’s worse, if we try to be over protective, it will become arrogant. Before we know, it would grow into a wild and dangerous big cat. Money, the man-eater! And then honey, for the rest of our lives we will have to run around in circles, holding on to its tail…can’t let go, can’t stop. A tiger by the tail.’

That was pretty much all my Inner Voice’s sermons on money that I’ve rejected over the years. It came in handy that night.

Seeing her more confused than convinced, I prepared to deliver the kayo.

‘Tell you what honey, let’s make a clean start. This Diwali, let’s not treat money like a God or Goddess. Let’s play Teen Patti with it. Let’s disrespect it. Disregard it. Then watch how money turns from a wild cat into a tame dog. It will come searching for us, behind us, wagging its tail.’

She stood up to the count. In an argument with her, that always signals finality.

‘Look Rum, you talked about that Inner Voice of yours, I let it pass as a senior citizen moment. But putting Mani on the Teen Patti table and turning him into a dog? That’s too much. This needs medical intervention. For now, please stay away from my Mani!’ saying that, she picked up our purring Subramani.

‘Ah, his purrs! I’d trade anything in the world for that!’ she said.

This time I was sure she said purrs and not purse. Things fell in place, just like a conveniently written climax.

We both laughed about it for long into that night. Our TV was on. It was showing the Commonwealth opening ceremony. Caught a glimpse of it. I remember wondering why it didn’t seem the same as Beijing’s. But didn’t bother to watch more. Our closing ceremony was far more exciting.

And yes, in the middle of the night, I did look for the remote, just to pump the TV volume up. Didn’t want to hear my Inner Voice that night for sure.

Psst… If you don’t want this Mani-Money confusion in your life, here’s a better way to communicate. Enjoy!


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by kumar ganesan on October 7, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    blessed to have read this, feel charged….and that video was the icing on the cake. keep it going prof.


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