Freedom isn’t exactly free

 

‘What happened now?’ my wife’s question broke my lost-in-thought moment.

I shrugged a nothing. Finding that inadequate, I elaborated, ‘Nothing much, just feel kind of funny. It’s almost 5 days since I’ve heard my Inner Voice, you know?’

‘Hey, that’s terrific news! Oof, finally! Isn’t that what you wanted? Freedom, at last, huh?’

‘Yeah, you could say that. But you never know. There have been such long silences before.’

‘Umm..Don’t just sit there and think like that. Let’s go for Knock Out now.’ she said.

‘But why? It’s sort of knocked out anyway, na?’ I struggled to articulate how I was feeling. Have you guys felt like that anytime- just not feeling on top of the world when you have all the reasons to?

‘Rum! I meant the film!’ she said, almost giving up on me.

‘Oh, not in the mood today. Maybe tomorrow?’ I said as her phone rang and she went out with it.

What’s wrong with me? I should be running around the house yelling, ‘Yippee, I’ve done it! Done it with no freaking help from shrinks, godmen and lawyers!’ Instead, here I’m trying to figure out what I’m feeling. Of course, my wife is right, the word is Freedom. Just imagine, no more of that I’ll-tell-you-what’s-right suggestion when I’m undecided; No more that’s-not-correct warning when I’m about to do something; No more I-told-you-so postmortem when things don’t end nice. For the first time, I’d be able to think independently, do whatever I feel like doing, and live life the way I’ve always wanted to. If this isn’t freedom then what is!

Wait, I know what’s bugging me. It’s that question of what made my Inner Voice disappear after all these years, just like that. Is it me? Is it my wife? Is it this blog thingie? Or is it you guys and your comments?

‘Ramesh!’ I yelled, to yank myself out of this thought quicksand. ‘It’s over, okay? Just be thankful to whoever and get on with life!’

Of course, I will. Okay, let’s digress. Let’s see something funny. What say? Here’s a clip about…er…Price of absolute freedom?

Ugh!

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